Are you addicted to failing at recovery?

For many years, I told myself that I was “trying” to recover from my eating disorder. But trying is lying. You’re either putting in the work or you’re not.

Through “trying” over and over again only to slip back into old habits, I convinced myself I couldn’t “do” recovery. I convinced myself I was a failure. And because I kept telling myself I would “fail” if I even tried, I was giving myself a “Get Out Of Recovery Free Card.”

When you’re addicted to failing at recovery, you secretly enjoy it. When you tell yourself you’ve failed – and thereby tell yourself full recovery isn’t possible for you – you’re secretly relieved; it means you can continue clinging to the eating disorder.

Just like the eating disorder itself, failing at recovery serves a purpose: incapacity. When you’re incapable, you become a victim. And by nature, victims don’t take responsibility.

If you want to be truly free, you must be willing to pay the price of freedom: responsibility. When will you finally make the investment?

This concept about addiction to failure was inspired by the wonderful book "Turning Pro" by Steven Pressfield. Thank you for your invaluable work, Steven!