Does weight gain feel like nails on a chalkboard?

Does the thought of gaining weight make you want to crawl out of your skin?

In a recent 1-1 coaching session with a mom of an autistic child struggling with an eating disorder, she told me her daughter describes weight gain as nails scraping a chalkboard.

Eek.

Just typing that sent chills up my spine…so can you imagine what it must feel like in the body of someone with hypersensitivity to change?

When I was in the throes of anorexia, I feared weight gain – but not for the reason most people think.

I never saw myself as fat. In fact, I knew I was too thin. It was the sensory overload of having flesh on my bones that caused me to want to crawl out of my skin.

During that time, if I could have waved a magic wand 🪄 to inhabit a bigger body without having to go through the process of weight gain, I would have.

But of course, that’s not how the cookie crumbles.

One of the most difficult parts of the weight gain process, for me, wasn’t the weight gain itself. It was the unpredictable change that accompanied foreign sensations.

➡️ So how did I get through this?

➡️ How did I make peace with weight gain?

➡️ How can you accept this part of your journey?

You choose to control what can be controlled.

And no, I don’t mean controlling your body – because as much as you may think your body can be controlled, it can’t.

If you could truly control your body, you wouldn’t have mental hunger, fatigue, and insomnia alongside your pursuit of restriction.

What you can control is your reaction to your body’s initiative.

You can’t control how much weight you gain…but you can choose to buy clothes that feel comfortable.

You can’t control the thoughts that flood your mind with guilt and shame…but you can choose to reach out for help and seek solace from someone who gets it.

You can’t control what other people think or say about your larger body, but, in the words of Viktor Frankl, you can choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances, you can choose your own way.

Weight gain, let alone recovering from an eating disorder, isn’t easy. But that’s precisely what makes the journey worth going on.

If you want my help on that journey, be sure to schedule a consultation call for 1-1 coaching here!