How My Eating Disorder Protected Me (Autism Edition)

Eating disorders are often misunderstood, especially when they intersect with neurodivergence. For many autistic individuals, these behaviors are more than isolated symptoms; they’re complex adaptations shaped by a world that feels foreign and overwhelming. Instead of viewing eating disorders as pathologies to be "fixed," I believe it's more constructive to see them as a Spectrum of Adaptive Eating Behaviors.

In this post, you'll learn how an eating disorder can act as a shield against the challenges of navigating a neurotypical world and why it’s essential to understand these behaviors through a lens of survival and self-protection. By exploring the purpose these adaptations serve, we can move closer to a recovery rooted in compassion and true understanding.

Eating Disorder or Eating Adaptation?

Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world is a frightening thing. Your interests are different, the way you approach problems is different, and everyone seems to have been born with the rulebook on how to have social interactions...except for you.

So what do you do?

You adapt. You adapt by masking, which is putting on a version of yourself you think the world will accept. You learn to smile when you’re supposed to, to laugh when others laugh, and to suppress stim urges, all in an effort to avoid being labeled as “weird.”

Obviously, pretending to be someone else is exhausting – but it seems safer than the alternative.

Masking is a form of trauma. And as with all forms of trauma, it builds up in the body like sediment settling at the bottom of a river 🌊 layer by layer, until one day the flow of life gets choked and stagnant.

With so much sedimented trauma weighing you down, the body starts to seek release. An eating disorder is a trauma response – a way to channel all the stored fight-or-flight energy. The ED is like a valve that opens just enough to prevent an eruption, a temporary escape from the overwhelm.

But over time, the eating disorder becomes more than just a coping mechanism; it morphs into the only entity you can rely on for safety. When paired with the relentlessly curious and deeply existential autistic mind, the eating disorder transforms into your life's purpose.

The Eating Disorder Is ALWAYS Serving a Purpose

Traditional approaches tend to pathologize eating disorders, with treatment often focusing solely on eradicating “ED behaviors.”

While the traditional “evidence based” approaches may look nice in theory, they lack nuance and compassion (not to mention the fact that evidence based would more appropriately be termed evidence BIASED).

No one develops an eating disorder just to develop an eating disorder.

The behaviors serve a purpose, creating a protective cocoon from threats. For me as a neurodivergent person, some of those threats were:

🌈 Sensory overwhelm of a changing body

🌈 Analysis paralysis of having too many options

🌈 Responsibilities that parallel maturation (physically and mentally)

🌈 My brain going a thousand miles a minute

🌈 Hormonal changes of being a female (I have PMDD)

So Then How Does One Recover?

For me personally, recovery from my eating disorder was about understanding the trade-offs I was making for this sense of safety and protection. Yes, I could continue shielding myself from what I feared most, but I was equally shielding myself from the possibility of freedom 🙅‍♀️

Coming to this realization requires a tipping point – a moment when the scale shifts (no pun intended, LOL), and you see that the cost of safety is the weight of everything else you’re giving up. It's in that pause where, even amidst the illusion of control, that you begin to question: What am I truly holding on to, and what is it costing me?

In that instant, the eating disorder transforms from a shelter into a cage.

The yearning to recover doesn’t come from outside pressure or prescribed steps. It emerges from within, sparked by a flicker of hope that freedom might be possible, that perhaps you DON'T have to live in survival mode forever.

In my Autistically ED-Free Group Coaching Program, I go deeper into how to gently guide yourself or a loved one to that tipping point, recognizing that each journey is as unique as the individual. This program is designed to help you identify and work with autistic traits that often intertwine with eating disorder behaviors, allowing you to separate them from the ED. Through modules focused on understanding sensory sensitivities, navigating PDA, rebuilding trust, and fostering autonomy, we create a supportive space to escape fight-or-flight mode and build a sense of safety from within. HeIn the program, compassion and understanding replace the demands and resistance of traditional approaches. You can learn more here.

Everyone’s eating disorder(s) exist for different reasons. When we can stop judging & labeling and instead, invite CURIOSITY to their purpose, we can tread with love and compassion 💗

XO Liv