Should You Honor Mental Hunger in Eating Disorder Recovery?

What is Mental Hunger in Anorexia Recovery?

Simply put, mental hunger is thinking about food or anything that has to do with food (including how much movement to engage in so you "deserve" to eat said food). More specifically, mental hunger can be defined by the constant, nagging thoughts about food, especially the food that you won’t allow yourself to eat. When I was struggling with anorexia, I would have insomnia practically every night, fantasizing myself eating entire cakes I would never bake, spreading peanut butter on toast that I would never make, and licking my fingers over the chocolate bars that I would never buy.

When you Google "mental hunger" or "brain hunger" or even "why I can't stop thinking about food" you’ll get bombarded with a variety of search results. Some of these posts are similar to this one, aimed at supporting people in eating disorder recovery. They're filled with permission slips to honor mental hunger, explanations as to why mental hunger is valid, and perhaps, they're sprinkled with scientific reasons as to why giving into mental hunger in anorexia recovery is important. Unfortunately, you'll also find posts that are deeply rooted in diet culture. These posts, often with catchy titles such as "How to tell if you’re really hungry" or "Tips on how to stop thinking about food" tend to give you information that's as good as useless. I mean, anyone with an eating disorder knows that distracting yourself, drinking a large glass of water, and filling up on high-volume, low-calorie foods don't make mental hunger go away. If anything, they increase your frustration with your 24/7 food thoughts.

No wonder you're questioning whether your mental hunger is valid! And while I'm no sage on the stage, I can tell you one thing: the only way to get rid of mental hunger is by honoring mental hunger. But won't I condition my brain to become addicted to food? Let me ask you this: has your current approach to getting rid of hunger decreased your food fantasies, or has it exacerbated the problem? As I explain in my post on the Science Behind Extreme Hunger in ED Recovery, mental hunger is the most cost efficient way for your body to seek out food without wasting its precious energy on sending out physical hunger cues. That being said, the more mental hunger you have, the more valid the mental hunger is!

If you feel like you're a fraud for honoring mental hunger or if your eating disorder is trying to convince you that you're just using the term mental hunger as an "excuse" to binge, I want to lovingly invite you to reflect on why you're reading this post right now. Deep down, you know your mental hunger is valid and the only way to deal with extreme hunger is by giving into it – but you're afraid. You're afraid because the eating disorder convinces you that any actions outside of its tolerated zone of behaviors in unsafe. And I'm not here to tell you "not to be afraid" because we both know that's a load of bullshit. Instead, I'm here to inform you of WHY you have mental hunger so can make honoring it just a little bit easier.

How Restriction Causes Mental Hunger

One of the most common reasons people in eating disorder recovery claim their mental hunger isn't "valid" is because they believe their restriction wasn't that bad. If, like me, you were always eating regular meals and snacks even while in the throes of your eating disorder, you may believe that the restriction wasn't "severe enough" to warrant extreme hunger now. However, listening to this voice is permitting your shadow self to take the lead – and don't you want to tap into your true self?

In my course Extremely Hungry to Completely Satisfied I explain twenty different types of restriction, all of which can contribute to mental hunger. Understanding the root cause of your food obsession is critical to overcoming it. After all, you can't find a solution if you don't know where the problem is coming from!

While the different types of restriction obviously have different manifestations, all restriction has one thing in common: it activates a scarcity mindset. And as long as your body and brain and perceiving scarcity, you will have mental hunger. Of course, choosing to feed yourself in a diet culture-ridden and fat-phobic society is not easy. Several types of restriction are praised in our society, including, but not limited to: vegan, gluten-free, low-carb, low-fat, sugar-free, paleo, and orthorexia, or an obsession with eating only foods one deems as "healthy" and "clean." Because these labels and forms of restriction are thriving in our era (especially within the health and wellness community), they’re often not considered as restriction. So to understand whether or not you are restricting, you must be brutally honest with yourself. This starts with adopting a mindset of curiosity rather than judgment. For example, instead of judging foods as good or bad, you may want to ask yourself:

Am I avoiding certain foods or food groups? If so, why?

If your answer is yes and the "why" doesn’t have to do with legitimate allergies, intolerances, or a serious medical condition, you may want to reconsider your relationship to said restricted food. In some cases, you might not even be aware of the fact that you are restricting.

For example: let’s say you have a meal plan prescribed by a dietician. This plan is supposedly in place to help you start eating "normally" again. If you are (mentally) hungry for more food than is on this plan but you are not allowing yourself to eat more, you are restricting. If you're in this boat, I recommend reading my post on What To Do About Extreme Hunger While On A Meal Plan.

The reason it’s so important to be aware of any food rules you have made for yourself is because they are directly linked to mental hunger. Again, even socially acceptable rules such as "I can only have sweets on the weekend" or "I can only eat two slices of toast within 24 hours" are forms of restriction. If you want sweets on Wednesday or maybe you want a third slice of bread with breakfast but don’t allow yourself, you are restricting. Denying yourself of what you want is the only reason you become preoccupied with those foods. It's like saying, "Don't think of an elephant!" Well, what image just popped into your head? 

When Thinking About Exercise is a Form of Mental Hunger

So maybe you do allow yourself to have the foods you crave, but only if you make up for it by exercising or doing something else to "deserve" it. If skipping a workout causes you a lot of anxiety due to the fear that your intake will be "out of balance," or if it feels impossible to focus unless you’ve completed your "workout for the day," you are probably mentally hungry.

For many people with eating disorders, exercise gives them a reason to eat – and that’s precisely why they feel the need to do it. However, the reality is that you don’t need an external reason to eat. You are deserving of food no matter what. You are a human being just like me, and fuel is every being's birthright. Whether we’re trekking the sahara dessert or laying on the couch all week, your body can only maintain your vital functions (including a beating heart, digestion, excretion, and reproduction) if you give the body what it needs!

If your exercise is a form of compensation for food and is driven by the fear of what will happen if you don't engage in said exercise, you need to stop exercising. Now. You need to heal that relationship if your body has any hopes of trusting that you are safe and that food is abundant. Obviously, this work is not easy! Which is why working with an expert by experience eating disorder recovery coach can be an important aspect of your food and exercise freedom journey.

Is Mental Hunger A Form of Extreme Hunger?

A lot of the time, people in eating disorder recovery believe mental hunger isn't "valid" because it's not the same as physical extreme hunger, that is to say, the "bottomless pit hunger" many online recovery influencers talk about. However, mental hunger is just as valid as physical hunger? In fact, mental hunger can actually be more significant to honor as explained in my post on the Science Behind Extreme Hunger. Whatever form your hunger presents as, your body is saying, "We’ve made it to the abundant lands, time to feast!" Although it can be terrifying (trust me, I've been there!) to experience multiple forms of hunger that don't always align with one another, honoring ALL of your hunger is the only way to achieve food freedom. Your body is smart and your body knows what it needs. Show it that you’re gonna give it that!

Extreme Hunger While Being Weight Restored

Another common reason people in ED recovery believe their extreme hunger cannot be trusted is because they're not underweight. In fact, I didn't experience extreme hunger until I was deemed "weight restored"! As I explain in my post Extreme Hunger While Being Weight Restored, being weight restored is not the same thing as being health restored. The problem with using your weight as a recovery metric is that it doesn't encompass all the factors of your health that cannot be seen: the density of your bones, the functioning of your organs, not to mention the health of your BRAIN!

If you can't stop thinking about food, you’re most likely not health restored. If you’re mentally hungry, you’re suppressing your intake and not eating enough of what YOUR body needs. If you want more food (even if your eating disorder tries to convince you it's emotional eating or some other bullshit), you need to eat more food. Experiencing extreme hunger without being underweight can be really tough. Hearing the people around you – family, friends, even doctors – say that you "look so good!" and then still only feeling satisfied when you're five times as much as them is tough. There’s really no easy way to put it. Especially for those in naturally larger bodies, admitting that you may need more food and giving into extreme hunger is one of the hardest parts of recovery.

But just because you are not emaciated, doesn’t mean you're suddenly healthy. In fact, just because you're not underweight, doesn't mean you don't have an eating disorder! Atypical Anorexia and any other forms of disordered eating are valid. If you are struggling, you are deserving of help. This worthiness of help is completely unrelated to your weight, which, after all, is nothing more than the the force exerted on a body by gravity ;)

How Long Does Mental Extreme Hunger Last?

Mental hunger and extreme hunger in eating disorder recovery last as long as they need to. The intensity and duration of both mental and physical extreme hunger depend on countless factors, including: the person's natural metabolism, how long the restriction has been going on, if there was exercise involved, etc. Unfortunately, there’s no "one size fits all" blanket statement when it comes to defining how long mental hunger lasts because no single person can be compared to another.

The only blanket statement that we can make is that if you have mental hunger, you need to eat. The more you eat and the sooner you do, the sooner your body will realize it’s safe. And the sooner your body feels safe, the sooner you will find freedom from your eating disorder and lead the life you were born to live. Are you committed to creating that life? Enroll in my course Extremely Hungry to Completely Satisfied here!